SANTA CLARA, CA – In a groundbreaking yet utterly confusing development, NVIDIA has unveiled its latest semiconductor technology – so advanced and miniaturized that the transistors have effectively disappeared from our observable universe.
“This is the pinnacle of innovation,” said NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang, proudly holding up what appeared to be an empty circuit board. “We have achieved what no one thought possible: computing power so efficient, it exists in a parallel dimension.”
Quantum Engineering or Accidental Vanishing Act?
The new chips, developed using -3 nm process technology, leverage extreme quantum tunneling to achieve zero-latency computing—primarily because the electrons refuse to stay in place long enough to be processed.
According to one NVIDIA engineer, who wished to remain anonymous, “We were aiming for efficiency, but at some point, the transistors just… left. They’re technically still computing, just not here.”
This development has raised serious concerns in the scientific community. A team of physicists at MIT has begun investigating whether NVIDIA has unintentionally created a singularity, while others fear the missing semiconductors may have accidentally been sent back in time, possibly influencing the development of Pong.
Market Reactions and the Gaming Industry’s Response
Despite the concerns, Wall Street reacted positively, with NVIDIA’s stock soaring 23% on news of their existence-defying breakthrough. Industry insiders speculate that NVIDIA’s next step could be “negative transistors”, which promise to run games before they are even installed.
The gaming community, however, is divided. One Reddit user, @RTX4Life, complained: “So I paid $5,000 for a GPU that doesn’t even exist? Classic NVIDIA move.”
Meanwhile, others remain hopeful, with some AI enthusiasts claiming the new chips could “simulate an entire reality where GPUs are actually in stock.”
What’s Next?
NVIDIA has assured customers that their latest GPUs, equipped with these disappearing transistors, will still ship with standard 16-pin power connectors—which, despite being visible, will likely melt under the strain of powering non-existent processors.
Meanwhile, AMD has responded by promising a competing chip that, while still existing, will be so efficient that it doesn’t need a computer to function.
As for the fate of NVIDIA’s lost transistors? Scientists predict that if they haven’t already left our universe entirely, they might eventually reappear inside a PlayStation 6 in 2042.
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