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The Money Puppets

Trump Appoints Kanye West to Lead the Fed – Promises ‘More Creative Interest Rates’

Washington, D.C. – In a shocking but somehow unsurprising move, Donald Trump has fired Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell and appointed Kanye West as his replacement, citing the rapper’s “unmatched creativity, fresh ideas, and deep experience with numbers, particularly streaming…

Trump Appoints Kanye West to Lead the Fed – Promises ‘More Creative Interest Rates’

Deal Reached: China Keeps Tariffs, U.S. Gets Friendship Bracelet and Handshake

Trump Defends Penguin Island Tariff: ‘They’ve Been Sliding Under the Radar for Too Long’

Trump Introduces Meta-Tariffs: A Reciprocation of the Reciprocated Reciprocity

Doomsday Economics

Confirmed: Global Economy Officially Runs on a Single Excel Spreadsheet Named ‘final_final_v2_revised_actual.xlsx’

Every Time Trump Visits the Restroom, a New Tariff Appears – China Considers Blocking U.S. Plumbing Exports in Retaliation

Canada’s Revenge Against Trump: Ordering Millions in Amazon Products, Returning Them the Next Day

Trump Praises Ukraine’s War Effort – Rewards Them With 35% Tariffs on All Exports

The Money Puppets

Auto Tariffs Backfire as Trump’s Beloved Golf Carts Now Cost $180,000 – Forced to Walk, Suffers ‘Historic Foot Pain’

After Yemen Leak, Goldberg Found in Trump Family WhatsApp Chat Titled ‘Big Plans, Small Hands’

DOGE Realizes It’s the Biggest Source of Government Waste – Submits Resignation to Itself

Wall Street Traders React to Market Meltdown – Many Consider Career Change to ‘Something Less Stressful’ Like Bomb Disposal

Featured Tags

Donald Trump

Trump’s Tariff Chaos Forces Apple to Hide iPhone Factories – CEO Won’t Say Where They Are

Elon Musk

Tesla Declares Bankruptcy – Stock Immediately Doubles as Investors Call It ‘Bullish’

Tariffs

Trump Accused of Being KGB Spy – Immediately Imposes Tariffs on Truth, Reality, and Logic

Inflation

RFK Jr. Promises to ‘Fix Inflation’ – Plan Involves Banning the Federal Reserve and Bringing Back Bartering

Canada

Trump Says Canadian Boycott Is ‘Totally Unfair’ – Demands Canada Apologize and Send Him a Free Hockey Team as Compensation

Federal Reserve

Elon Musk Hacks Federal Reserve Files – Discovers U.S. Economy Has Been Running on ‘Vibes’ Since 2008

Billionaire Gladiators

Elon Musk Claims Having Many Kids Is Efficient – ‘Think of It Like Vertical Integration, But With DNA’

Bezos Says Billionaires Should Be ‘Treated Like Gods’ – Announces Plan to Replace Democracy With Amazon Prime Voting

Peter Thiel Announces Plan to Buy a Small Country – Says He’ll Run It Like a Hedge Fund

Elon Musk Gains Access to U.S. Treasury, Deletes All Taxes – IRS in Chaos

Get Rich or Cry Trying

10 Tips You Should Definitely (Not) Use When Negotiating Your Salary

10 Hilarious Ways to Lose Your Entire Fortune in 10 Minutes (fast)

Stonks & Ponzis

Ethereum Upgrade Rolls Out Successfully – Absolutely No One Understands What Changed

Volkswagen Introduces Digital Assistant ‘Heinz’ – Asks for Confirmation Before Every Command, Twice

Exclusive: Is the Klan Behind Tesla?

Halving Bug Leaks to Wall Street – Goldman Sachs Accidentally Mines 3,000 Bitcoins During Coffee Break