WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a stunning diplomatic moment, U.S. President Donald Trump has announced that he is willing to end all tariffs against the European Union—but only under one condition: he must be allowed to try “Brussels.”
The statement, which left European officials completely baffled, was made during a meeting on U.S.-EU trade relations, where Donald Trump repeatedly referred to Brussels—the capital of the European Union—as a “delicious-sounding food” that he assumed was being unfairly kept from American consumers.
“Brussels—What Is It? A Burger? A Sausage? It Sounds Amazing!”
According to sources in the room, Trump interrupted a presentation on EU trade regulations to ask why he had never seen “Brussels” on a McDonald’s menu.
“I keep hearing about Brussels. Everybody’s talking about Brussels. But has anyone here actually tasted it?” Trump asked, glancing around the room. “I mean, it sounds delicious. Is it a burger? Is it a sausage? Whatever it is, I want it. And folks, I want it tariff-free.”
EU officials initially assumed he was joking, but their smiles quickly faded when Trump leaned over to his trade advisor and whispered, ‘Google what Brussels tastes like.’
EU Official Attempts to Explain – Instantly Regrets It
After several minutes of confusion, a brave EU diplomat attempted to clarify that Brussels was, in fact, the capital of Belgium and not a type of food.
This explanation only made things worse.
“So it’s a capital meal? Like a signature dish? You know, like how America has the Big Mac?” Trump asked, nodding.
When the diplomat insisted that Brussels was a city, Trump grew visibly frustrated and demanded to know why Europe was making things so confusing.
“First, you tell me the EU is not a country. Now, you tell me Brussels is not a food? What’s next? Is France not a cheese?”
At this point, French President Emmanuel Macron, who had been quietly sipping wine in the corner, nearly choked.
Trump’s Offer: “Free Trade for a Free Taste”
Trump then proposed a historic new trade agreement, which he personally dubbed the “Tremendous Taste Test Deal.”
Under the deal, the U.S. would remove all tariffs on EU goods, but only if an official EU delegation flies to Mar-a-Lago to personally serve him “Brussels”—whatever it is.
“I don’t like these tariffs. Nobody likes tariffs. But I need to know what this Brussels thing is. So I’m making a very fair deal: free trade for a free taste,” Trump declared.
When an aide whispered that he might be thinking of Brussels sprouts, Trump immediately canceled the deal.
“Never mind! Forget it. Brussels sprouts? That’s disgusting. Worst vegetable ever. I tried it once in 1987, worst night of my life. Let’s double the tariffs instead.”
EU Leaders Struggle to Respond
Following the deeply confusing exchange, European leaders held an emergency meeting to figure out how to handle the situation.
While some suggested clarifying the geography again, others argued that the best course of action would be to rename Brussels something Trump-friendly—perhaps “McBrussels.”
Meanwhile, Belgium has reported a sudden increase in American tourists wandering through the streets of Brussels, entering restaurants, and demanding to “try the thing Trump was talking about.”
At press time, Trump was last seen ordering a Brussels-themed meal at Mar-a-Lago, consisting of a cheeseburger, a Diet Coke, and a side of fries—because, as he put it, “French fries come from Belgium, so who even cares anymore?”
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