MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – In what experts are calling “the greatest unintended technological breakthrough in human history,” Google’s AI-powered translation engine has reportedly opened a portal to another dimension while attempting to decode a particularly cryptic tweet from billionaire tech mogul Elon Musk.
According to sources inside Google, the incident occurred late last night when a junior engineer jokingly fed Musk’s latest incomprehensible tweet into Google Translate. Moments later, the company’s AI system detected “anomalies in spacetime,” and the main server room began emitting an eerie, glowing blue light.
The Tweet That Broke Reality
The tweet in question, posted at 2:47 AM, read as follows:
“X-47 AI singularity 🤖🐍 inevitable. Neuralink x Starlink fusion = 🤯. Soon, $TSLA stock will reach ∞. #dogecoin #wormhole #TeslaCyberPriest”
What followed shook the entire tech industry to its core.
- Google’s AI initially struggled with translation, outputting phrases like “DO NOT LOOK BEHIND YOU” and “RUN.”
- Engineers noticed strange symbols appearing on their screens, with no known linguistic origin.
- The moment an intern tried translating the tweet into Mandarin, the system crashed entirely, triggering a surge of electromagnetic energy that caused a black rift to form in the ceiling.
Eyewitnesses report that tentacle-like appendages briefly emerged from the portal before retracting, seemingly confused by the smell of overpriced kombucha in the Google cafeteria.
“It was like a scene out of Interstellar,” said one stunned employee. “Except dumber. Way dumber.”
Elon Musk Reacts: ‘This Was All Part of the Plan’
Hours after the incident nearly collapsed reality as we know it, Elon Musk casually acknowledged the event on X, replying to Google’s emergency announcement with:
“LOL nice. Told you this would happen. Starlink x Neuralink x CyberPriest AI was bound to reach interdimensional levels sooner or later. #DogecoinAcceptedInOtherDimensions”
The tweet, naturally, caused Tesla stock to jump 20% in pre-market trading.
Government Response: ‘We Have No Idea What’s Happening’
The White House immediately convened an emergency task force, consisting of:
- NASA scientists trying to determine if Musk had actually discovered new dimensions or just had too much Adderall.
- Economists attempting to understand why Tesla stock was still rising despite reality itself breaking down.
- Pentagon officials debating whether to classify Musk as “a national security threat or just an intergalactic nuisance.”
Meanwhile, China has reportedly launched an emergency counter-program, scrambling to translate Musk’s older tweets to see if any of them also open wormholes.
The Portal Is Stabilized – But At What Cost?
As of press time, Google engineers have managed to contain the portal, though it remains slightly unstable. Some claim they can still hear whispers from the other side, repeating the words “Tesla to infinity” over and over again.
Elon Musk, meanwhile, has already filed a trademark for “Tesla CyberPriest: The First Multi-Dimensional Stock Exchange,” claiming that investors in parallel universes may be more bullish on Tesla than even WallStreetBets.
One shaken Google executive summarized the entire event with:
“We thought we were just translating a tweet. Turns out, we were decrypting the universe.”
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