Washington, D.C. – Elon Musk—recently appointed by President Trump as the head of DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency)—has sent letters to every federal worker demanding they describe, in detail, what exactly they did at work last week. Employees have exactly one week to respond in writing.
However, due to what Elon Musk later called a “slight administrative error,” one of these letters was accidentally sent directly to President Donald J. Trump himself. The result was immediate chaos in the White House.
Trump’s Initial Response – Total Confusion
According to aides, Trump was initially baffled upon receiving the letter.
“Who’s this Elon guy, and why’s he asking what I do all day?” Trump reportedly asked advisors. “I’m the president—I do president things. Tremendous things.”
Staffers, unsure how to handle the situation, tried explaining the concept behind Musk’s initiative. Trump immediately misunderstood and believed Musk was accusing him personally of “bureaucratic inefficiency.”
Trump Attempts to Write Back – Disaster Follows
Determined to set things straight, Trump sat down to compose a detailed response. Witnesses report the following events:
- Trump first asked staff to remind him what he actually did last week. They struggled to provide specifics, leading Trump to repeatedly shout: “Golf is working! Tremendous diplomacy happens on golf courses!”
- Unable to recall concrete presidential tasks, Trump dictated a lengthy response focusing on his latest golf score, his ratings on cable TV, and complaints about CNN.
- After two hours, Trump had produced 14 handwritten pages, most of which consisted of “MAGA,” “perfect phone calls,” and an inexplicable rant against wind turbines.
Eventually, exhausted staff simply decided to mail Musk Trump’s handwritten pages without editing.
Elon Musk’s Reaction – Regrets Everything Immediately
When Elon Musk received Trump’s response, he tweeted (then quickly deleted):
“I regret everything. Just received 14 pages from Trump explaining his job. Still no idea what he does.”
Federal employees, meanwhile, celebrated quietly as Musk—thoroughly shaken—abandoned his anti-bureaucracy campaign overnight.
Fallout on Wall Street – Everyone Confused, Markets Rise Anyway
Upon hearing the news, Wall Street reacted exactly as expected—completely irrationally:
- Dogecoin jumped 500% in value, just because Musk was briefly in headlines again.
- Tesla stock surged after Musk tweeted, “Maybe government isn’t fixable, but at least my cars are cool.”
- Amazon and Google stock increased slightly, mostly out of relief that Musk wasn’t coming after them next.
Trump Claims Victory
Trump ultimately declared the incident a “huge victory,” claiming that Musk’s letter proved “nobody works harder or better than Trump.”
At press time, Trump had tweeted:
“Just explained my very important job to Elon Musk. Elon very impressed! Bureaucracy solved, you’re welcome America!”
Craving more news? RFK Jr. unveils brilliant (read: highly questionable) ideas to tame inflation, while the United States of America goes public—triggering consequences no one saw coming.
