Hollywood, CA – In what might be the most unexpected Oscar moment in history, former President Donald Trump took home the Best Supporting Role award—not for an actual movie, but for his “outstanding performance in endorsing Elon Musk as the true President of the United States.”
The Academy, confused but committed to tradition, presented Donald Trump with the statue, while the crowd nervously waited for his reaction.
Trump, however, was not happy.
Trump’s Acceptance Speech: Immediate Fury and Demands for More Awards
Taking the stage to a mix of applause, confusion, and quiet sobbing from Martin Scorsese, Trump immediately lashed out at the Academy for giving him a “supporting” award instead of Best Actor.
“Best Supporting? I don’t think so. I was the main character, okay? Elon—great guy, terrific guy—but let’s be honest, I made him what he is. I MADE this story. Nobody would even know about his presidency if it weren’t for me.”
Elon Musk, sitting in the audience, gave a thumbs-up while simultaneously tweeting something about Dogecoin.
Trump Unveils His Own Film Ideas – Demands Starring Roles
As the orchestra tried and failed to play him off the stage, Trump took the opportunity to pitch several movie ideas in which he would, of course, play the lead role.
- “MAGA: The Motion Picture” – “Tremendous film. Huge. A classic. It’s about a guy—very successful, very handsome—who saves America, wins everything, and everyone loves him. Total masterpiece. Spielberg, call me.”
- “The Art of the Deal: The Movie” – “It’s like Wall Street, but better. Smarter. No woke stuff. Just great deals, great money, and me looking fantastic.”
- “The Apprentice: White House Edition” – “It’s my life story, but with more drama. I fire people. I tweet. It’s a blockbuster. Chris Nolan should direct it. Tremendous guy.”
- “Fake News: The Movie” – “A gripping thriller. The press tries to destroy a great man, but he beats them. Spoiler: It’s me. Great ending, big box office numbers.”
At this point, Steven Spielberg was seen quietly slipping out of the theater.
Musk Responds: ‘I Accept the Presidency, I Guess’
After Trump’s speech, reporters rushed to Elon Musk for a reaction. Musk, who seemed only vaguely aware that he had been declared President, shrugged and said:
“If Trump says I’m President, then sure. I’ll take it. I’ll govern via X polls. First order of business: Should we ban taxes?”
The poll immediately went viral, with 99% voting ‘Yes.’
Hollywood’s Reaction – Absolute Chaos
The Academy, realizing their mistake, attempted to revoke Trump’s award, but were immediately blocked by Trump’s legal team.
Meanwhile, several Hollywood studios entered bidding wars over Trump’s film ideas, with Netflix offering $200 million for “MAGA: The Motion Picture” under the condition that Trump lets Adam Sandler play him.
Trump rejected the offer, stating:
“Sandler? He’s a fine guy. Funny guy. But let’s be real, folks—I play me, or we don’t make it.”
Trump Declares Himself Hollywood’s Biggest Star
At press time, Trump had officially updated his Truth Social bio to include “Oscar Winner, Movie Star, Future Hollywood Icon.”
Meanwhile, Musk was last seen tweeting a picture of himself Photoshopped onto Mount Rushmore, captioned:
“Let’s make this happen.”
