PALO ALTO, CA – In yet another bold move that has left his PR team in shambles, Elon Musk announced today the launch of the “VolksTesla”, an affordable electric vehicle designed to bring Tesla’s technology to the masses. However, eyebrows were raised when Musk cited his “inspiration” for the project.
“I’ve always admired the efficiency of certain 1930s-era automobile initiatives,” Elon Musk stated in a livestream, ignoring his team frantically waving at him off-screen. “They really knew how to mobilize an entire nation with affordable cars, and I think we can learn a thing or two from that.”
Musk insisted that the name VolksTesla—which translates to “People’s Tesla”—was “purely coincidental” and that he was simply continuing Tesla’s mission of making electric cars accessible to everyone. However, when a journalist pointed out historical parallels, Elon Musk responded, “I don’t see the issue. Many great projects came out of that time period. I mean, have you seen their highway system? Simply spectacular.”
Introducing “Blitzkrieg Charging” – The Fastest Way to Power Up
To accompany the VolksTesla, Musk also unveiled Tesla’s fastest charging system yet: the “Blitzkrieg Charging” network. According to Tesla, the new technology will allow customers to charge their vehicles in under five minutes—a feature Musk described as “an electrified lightning campaign” to revolutionize EV adoption.
“It’s about speed, power, and taking over the market before anyone knows what hit them,” Musk boasted, seemingly oblivious to the gasps from the audience.
Despite immediate backlash from historians and, well, anyone with a basic knowledge of world history, Musk defended the name, stating: “Look, it just means ‘lightning war.’ And Tesla is all about electricity. So really, it’s the perfect name.”
Public Reaction: A Mixed Bag of Shock and Stock Surges
Following the announcement, Tesla’s stock surged by 15%, as investors—who historically do not read past the headlines—were excited about a cheaper Tesla model and new charging innovations. Meanwhile, Twitter (or “X” as Musk insists on calling it) exploded with reactions:
• @HistoryNerd89: “Did Elon Musk really just name a car VolksTesla? And a charger Blitzkrieg? Is there no one at Tesla who has ever opened a history book?”
• @TeslaFan42: “Love it. Buying 10 VolksTeslas immediately. No idea what the controversy is, but this stock is mooning.”
• @MuskApologist77: “Guys, he didn’t mean it that way. Can we just let Elon revolutionize transportation in peace?”
Tesla PR Team Reportedly Quits En Masse
Insiders report that Tesla’s entire public relations team has either resigned or suffered complete nervous breakdowns, citing “historically unprecedented levels of damage control.”
Meanwhile, Musk remains unfazed, teasing future product names such as the “Führer Feature” for Tesla’s self-driving mode and a new high-speed rail concept called “Panzerbahn”.
More on this developing story as we try to wrap our heads around it.
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